My apologies. I realize I’ve been a slacker and haven’t posted in ages.
I actually had surgery on September 11. It was more or less a brain surgery (tumor removed from my pituitary gland) which was pretty rough to begin with. Then I ended up with a spinal fluid leak with put me back in the hospital and flat on my back for nearly 6 days. It took awhile to recover from all of that, plus I had a lot of catching up to do with my college classes.
My 7 week hiatus from work ends next week, then I guess life will be back to normal. I’ve truly enjoyed having time at home with my husband, and I’m sad to go back to my old schedule where we don’t see each other except for a few hours on the weekend and Monday nights. But such is life.
Being sedentary and forced into ‘taking it easy’ has not been good for my frame of mind. I did good for the first five weeks or so, but now on the sixth week, I am finding myself battling similar thoughts and issues as I had to face while in prison. I have been reminded that our mind, our thoughts, truly run us. And if our thoughts run in the wrong direction, they can be quite toxic and put us a few steps back.
I have started losing my steam. My interest in hobbies or nearly any activity has plummeted. My mind has started racing, sending my thoughts and fears down a track like a runaway train. My mind has spiraled downward so much that I think I’ve started inventing problems, or imagining things that ‘might’ happen, though they likely won’t. And idle mind can be a scary one.
So I’m going back to the things that worked inside the fence. I am meditating again, which is something I should never have stopped doing. I am reading books that I know will lift me up and get me motivated and excited. Most importantly, I am forcing myself to get up and just do something.
I’d like to recommend some reading material, for those who have served time, are serving time, or just having a rough time.
“We’re All Doing Time” by Bo Lozoff – one of the best books on earth when it comes to meditation or learning to turn negative thoughts in to better ones. Bo Lozoff is a blessing to the prison community. Anyone in an Federal, county or state institution can write to Lozoff’s organization and the book will be sent to them for free. The book isn’t just for those who have or are serving a prison sentence. Afterall, as I have learned, sometimes people in the ‘real world’ are suffering more than those behind bars.
“The Powermind System: Twelve Lessons on the Psychology of Success” by Michael Monroe Kiefer, M.S. - I know there are thousands of books out there that talk about all angles of success. And believe me, I’m sure I’ve read most of them. But this one has truly been my favorite and constant reference manual. It’s not just about setting goals and sticking to them. It’s finding out what you really want for your life and making sure it matches up with your goals. Most impressive is the fact that Kiefer includes plenty of material on superlearning and problem solving.
“The Power of Your Subconscious Mind” by Dr. Joseph Murphy – This is a classic but timeless book. You can probably find it in the bookstore for $5.99 or used for under a dollar. But like Kiefer’s book, it’s a book I use constantly as a refernce manual. I truly believe that our Subconscious Mind ‘runs’ us. You find what you look for. If you are looking for the negative, that’s what you will find in every situation.
“The Glass Castle” by Jeannette Walls – I am usually resistant to bestsellers (because many of them are overrated) but this book came highly recommended to me. I mostly read it during my two hospital stays, and it seems every nurse, doctor and visitor was either reading it or knew someone that was. Ever read a book that was so horrible and so wonderful at the same time? This is one of those books. We all have rough patches in our past, but to read Walls’ tales of her childhood, it’s hard to swallow and accept that so much can happen to one girl. If you’ve ever felt down about your situation, read this book and you’ll realize maybe life isn’t so bad.
